Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Shit Happens

I wrote the last post on the weekend, and I have to say, I think I underestimated how surreal the mornings can be. Yesterday morning, we had reached step six (where I attempt to get dressed) and things were already feeling a little unhinged. Breakfast had already been an utter failure - Thing 1 was dissatisfied with the specials of the day and Thing 2 had requested two unproductive trips to the bathroom and refused to eat more than a mouthful of banana. I had given up on catching the little monkey and chosen to change up the order and dress myself first. I was in the intermediate state (pajamas off, but work clothes not on yet) when I heard a HUGE commotion from the Things' bedroom. "Mom! She's got a huge turd in her pants!"

Yes. Potty training is a multi-step process. Thing 2 has got the liquid waste part down pat, but sometimes the solid waste catches her off guard...

I run to the bathroom to find Thing 2 sitting on the little potty with her pants around her ankles, and one leg is FILLED with shit. And not a nice, well behaved, solid turd either. And Thing 1 is standing as far away from this as possible while still remaining in the bathroom. What a trooper.

On my arrival, however, she bolts, and I begin the unimaginable process of cleaning it all up. Lucky for me this is my second time along the potty training road, so I know about the dunk and flush method of removing shit from tiny little clothing, and have no problem hosing down a small child in the bathtub with a handheld shower head in spite of her eardrum shattering shrieks. Good thing I hadn't gotten dressed yet.

1 comment:

flickamawa said...

Yummy. A pant-leg full of runny shit sounds worse, but the toddler I pt nanny for is potty-training, and back when he was just starting he hid where he normally does when he is going poop, and the next thing I knew he had dumped the poop out of his underwear onto the floor. That was pretty tasty too.